Numb

It was hard to leave you this way,
I’d lost all feeling and didn’t know what to say,
They lowered you and filled in the dirt.

Conversations are harder now,
I can hear your voice, but my words won’t come out,
So I lay down by you on the ground.

Another person called,
They said they would pray,
I’m not as numb, but miss you each day,
I’m still learning who I am.

I found some things to give away,
You wore this black dress when we had special dates,
So I held you one more time and danced.

One mile beyond your grave,
I realized I drove your way,
So I held tight to memories.

They lowered me right beside you,
I reached for your hand just like I used to do,
I tried to cry, but had no more tears.

Behind the lines

I shed a lot of tears thinking and writing about the topic of losing a spouse because I’m very close to my own. My wife and I will be celebrating our 17th anniversary March 16th and I’m thankful for her and the growing love we share.

The grief that comes from losing a spouse (or family member) is hard to capture in words. I wrote the above before finding this R.C. Sproul, Jr. post describing what he has learned one year after his wife passed away. I’ve included the link because I think it adds context to the sadness and thoughts I’ve expressed. Here’s a second link to a post he wrote soon after she died.

Though great grief and emotion may overtake us, those in Christ do not grieve as if there is no hope. There is hope in Him (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).

Jesus wept (John 11:35) because of the grief death brings and the Bible tells us to weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). When someone is grieving the best we can do is pray for them, love on them, cry with them, and point them to where our only Hope is found.

Where is your hope found?

If you are grieving may the Lord Jesus Christ draw you near.

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