Elisabeth Elliot is well known for her missionary work and has written many books. Her first husband, Jim, was killed on the mission field. (Her second husband died of cancer). Havner was a beloved Southern Baptist preacher and author, and his book chronicles his experience during the loss of his wife of 33 years (Sara) to Cushing’s Disease.
What I found interesting is that they both turned to poetry and hymns to help their audience relate. Poetry seems to be the preferred language of suffering. It is God’s gift of grace written by kindred sufferers to point us to the sacrifice of the Man of Sorrows. Poetry helps us to process suffering without directly comparing levels or degrees of it.
Is it any wonder that God gave us the Psalms to comfort our weary souls? There are times in our lives where we find ourselves like David:
I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart. O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes – it also has gone from me. Psalm 38:8-10
Havner wrote: “One thing I have learned in my journey through the Valley – I am not the only one who has traveled this trail. Every day I meet some fellow pilgrim. Almost every other person I talk with has been scarred by tragedy, bereavement, suffering.”
Elliot wrote: “I’ve come to see that it’s through the deepest suffering that God has taught me the deepest lesson.” And, “Suffering is a mystery that none of us is really capable of plumbing. And it’s a mystery about which I’m sure everyone at some time of other has asked why”
She defines suffering this way: “Suffering is having what you don’t want or wanting what you don’t have. She explains, “I think that covers everything.”
She goes on to say:
“The deepest things that I have learned in my own life have come from the deepest suffering. And out of the deepest waters and the hottest fires have come the deepest things that I know about God.”
“And let’s never forget that if we don’t ever want to suffer, we must be careful never to love anything or anybody. The gifts of love have been the gifts of suffering. Those two things are inseparable.”
Later Elliot puts it all in perspective: “It’s only in the cross that we can begin to harmonize this seeming contradiction between suffering and love. And we will never understand suffering unless we understand the love of God.” She describes the cross of Christ this way: “It is the best thing that ever happened in human history as well as the worst thing.”
Likewise, Havner writes: “Nobody ever walked through so dark a Valley and He walked it by Himself. We can never suffer as He suffered, die as He died. He has been through the Valley and we need fear no evil for He walks it with us.” He continues, “So…my fellow traveler, wending your way through dangers, toils, and snares you will meet a host of kindred souls. You have joined the brotherhood at the price of heartache and tears.”
Elliot goes on to quote several poets and hymn writers:
Measure your life by loss and not by gain, Not by the wine drunk, but by the wine poured forth. For love’s strength standeth in love’s sacrifice, And he that suffereth most hath most to give. ~Ugo Bassi
She references a line from a hymn by Richard Baxter, “Christ leads me through no darker rooms than He went through before.”
She then provides a short poem from the perspective of a young girl who at six-weeks old had an inflammation of the eyes and the doctor tried a procedure which burned both her corneas so that she was blind for life. Here’s the 9 year old words of Fanny Crosby:
O what a happy soul am I although I cannot see. I’m resolved that in this world contented I shall be. So many blessings I enjoy that other people don’t. To weep and sigh because I’m blind, I cannot nor I won’t.
Elliot closes her thoughts with a poem by Grant Colfax Tuller:
My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me; I do not choose the colors, He worketh steadily, Oft times He weaveth sorrow and I, in foolish pride, Forget He sees the upper, and I the under side. Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly, Shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why. The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver’s skillful hand, As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern he has planned.
As Havener travels through his own valley after his wife died, he states: “I have not lost her for I know where she is!” Then he shares the following anonymous poem:
Death can hide but not divide; Thou art but on Christ’s other side; Thou are with Christ and Christ with me, United still in Christ are we.
He goes on to quote lines from John Greenleaf Whitier’s poem “The Eternal Goodness.”
I know not what the future hath Of marvel or surprise, Assured alone that life and death, His mercy underlies, And if my heart and flesh are weak To bear an untried pain, The bruised reed He will not break, But strengthen and sustain.
And in another chapter he writes of the joyous expectation of Christ’s return and the longing to go home, but if Christ delays, then:
One sweet solemn thought Comes to me o’er and o’er; I’m nearer home today Than I’ve ever been before. ~ Phoebe Cary
A few days after Sara’s passing Havner wrote: “There is not much that I dread from here on out. When one has drained the bitterest cup he is better prepared for any other potion that life may serve. Indeed he can sing:”
Let sorrow do its work, Send grief or pain; Sweet are Thy messengers, Sweet their refrain, When they can sing with me: More love, O Christ, to Thee, More love to Thee! More love to Thee! ~ Elizabeth P. Prentiss
He ends his book referencing Paul’s suffering and how he “had to find it is far better to learn that God’s grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in our weakness.” Then he quotes Fanny Crosby:
All the way my Saviour leads me; What have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy, Who thro’ life has been my Guide?
Fanny’s words of hope remind me of my dad who often quoted her hymns. He passed away from cancer in October of 2018. With tumors growing out of his body through weakened scars of surgeon incisions, no longer able to walk, our conversation turned to heaven’s joy and no more suffering, and he profoundly and joyfully said in his last days, whisper-voice, “Praise God!”
There is Hope in the midst of suffering…
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10